I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
