just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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