He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
