as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
