please come you make the beer taste better
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
