I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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