fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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