I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize