You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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