I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
