He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
