It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
