Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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