Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
