she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
