Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
