So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
