Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
