Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
