even my farts smell like vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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