Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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