I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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