i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The beer is more important than you right now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
