we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
