dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
