How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
