I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
