Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
