This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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