you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My feet surprised me
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