So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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