Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
