Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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