Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
