I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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