I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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