Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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