My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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