he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
