I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
