ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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