you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
