i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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