If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Come on in and take your pants off
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