This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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