I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize