I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
