I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
