just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
