i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize