4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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