weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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