So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
sarcasm needs its own font
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
