he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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