My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
