I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
