My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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