I just pynch a tree in the face
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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