CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize