The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.