oh good, I think they're gone
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies