My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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