Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
