Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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