Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
