Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
